Rusty Come Home!

Hello Nature Lovers,
This posting is a latent plea from Jackie, who has been missing her Rusty Beaver for a little over a year, to ask for your help in returning him safely to his birch branch at the dirty bar. If you didn't know Rusty here's the 411. Not surprisingly, Jackie and Rusty first hooked one Sunday afternoon at the Caddy. Jackie used the Jaws of Life to snatch Rusty from a sad plight in the Caddy "Hunger House". The 2 became inseparable, going on booze cruises together to Hamilton and even Chicago. There, Rusty became the toast of Mean Blues Ladies, Homeless Folk, Piano Men, Indianans and Gorillas. Rusty was a simple beaver and, just like us, was most happy just sitting in the bar, getting cross eyed.

The night Jackie first noticed Rusty was missing, there weren't many people around: The Rich, Jackie, Burner, Bumper B, Pistol, Martini, Sandarelli and Jimmy V. Earlier, The Rich was skulking around the back of the bar (near Rusty's birch perch) feigning an interest in Celebrity Texas Hold 'um. Everyone else was working or drinkin'. It was 2 days later when the first ransom note was found by Bumper B taped on the outside of the Emmett Kelly Room window. It showed Rusty wrapped in Duct Tape, had bad grammar and spelling and made ludicrous demands like all ransom notes. The "Beaver Thief" asked for better snow removal in the parking lots, extra cheese on his Godfather pizza and $50 in small bills and a ride to the Dresden Slots. When his demands were not met, another more threatening and evil note was found in the same spot (both around 9 pm) by Deb V. Then....nada for over a year.

So who stole the beaver? Nobody knows for sure but Jackie lists the prime suspects as:

The Rich: Attempted kidnapping of Spitooey, strange behaviour the night Rusty got disco'd
Jimmy V: Kidnapped Burp and Slurp, could be in cahoots with The Rich
Bumper B: Attempted kidnapping of Spitooey,
Martini and Sandarelli: Payback...and who would suspect
Burner and Frenchy: Why not?
Linds: Just like a Garden Gnome
Princess and StephJ: coz they stole the Sleeman's Basket

If you have Rusty or know who took him, please aid in his return to the bar. Jackie has Nail Beaver, Beany Beaver and Cross-Eyed Beaver now but really wants Rusty back...coz there's no beaver like your first beaver.