Whatever Happened to Lester?

Hello PMS Sufferers,
I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. I went to Michigan for a big RV Show and Monster Truck Rally at the Silver Dome. It Rocked! However, I came home to find someone has stolen the Talking Gnome from my front porch....damn BMX Mafia! Gunner says that Chrystal told him there was some kind of progressive cocktail party based on Jules Verne's fledgling tome "Around the World in 80 Days". Word is "snaps" should be given as follows: Best Decorations: Mexico, Best Music: Thailand, Best Geography Report: Belgium, Best Food & Liquor: Moldova (where is that?), Best Place Where Everyone Could Smoke Indoors: Canada (Ironic isn't it?) and Best Live Theatre: Jamaica! Apparently Crazy Mary hit the Moldovan buffet like an SS IcBM. ...and I thought the cold War was over!

So I ran into the some people from the TrailerPark (pictured above) at the RV show, no surprise. We went and had some SilverDome Monster Beers together, which reminded me of the many cocktails we all had at the now defunct (not P.Funk'd) Rondeau joint, "Lester's On the Bay". Lester's was kind of a nutty place because the owners liked to fire it up equally as hard as the trailer folk. One night, Poncho and Dan B ferried us over from the Ghetto to Lester's, and the owner, MK, road a horse through the middle of the bar. It wasn't godiva style, but nonetheless! Another night the same lady fell into Rondeau Bay wearing her nightgown after a hefty jibber, Sleeman and Grand Marnier combo platter. One time, I was there and the bartender got tired or wanted to go score a happy bag or her Paxil had kicked in, so she left us the keys to the bar and told us to write our drinks on our tabs and lock up before we left. That's a once in a lifetime opportunity for someone like me and the kind of programme I think they should implement right here in the Ghetto!
Lester's was always at its most fun about a half an hour after "Official" Last Call. This is when the Rondeau Fishing Tackle Choir would fire up their renditions of classics such as "Whip it out at the Ball Game", "Jesus puts his Money in the Bank of Montreal" and "the Guinness Song". Where were you then, Margie Bliss? It was the kind of place where Morpethians and Trailer folk could hang without issue. Although one time a dude from Rondeau asked my friend from Morpeth if she was simian. She had to explain to him that she was indeed from Morpeth. In fact, Morpethians felt so comfortable there, one time Mennonite Bob did a crazy strip tease whilst "You can Leave Your Hat On" played in the background. Too bad Lester's had to close up because the floor caved in one labour day when everyone was rockin' out to "Tokyo" or "Margarittaville" or "Werewolves". I haven't heard Ronnie Fray sing "Poor Boy" since. Some of the trailer folk in our football pool say there is interest in buying the Lester's shack and making non-bootleg liquor available in Rondeau again. If you got the buzz on this, drop us an anonymous line.

Ok I gotta jet. John Cat and I are going to take my goat, Patches, to the vets. He hasn't walked properly since that Masonic Ceremony!