"Dap" like you mean it!

Hello World Travellers!
John Cat and I just made our weekly trip to the Blenheim Tim Hos. We get a dozen Cruellers and a couple medium triple/triples. Then we go to the liquor store and get a mickey of Prince Igor Vodka to dump in them.....it's a cardiac-attack waiting to happen. We saw Ken Bell outside Timmy's kissing babies and standing on a soapbox...I believe it was a laundry soap box, actually. He has a really good platform that will assure that laundromats in Kent County will be something we can call our own. I never wash my clothes, but I've slept in the Blenheim Fluff n' Fold. One night this guys started crying in the Caddy because people were laughing at him and then he picked up Uncle Joe Robinson and threw him at my mom, Diamond Lil. The Percs I had taken earlier had just kicked in and Trish called the cops, so I needed a warm place to crash. When the cops kicked me out in the morning I smelled like a big Bounce drier sheet. That's why I'm voting for Ken Bell...and you should too! Plus, he's a village person, and that's alright with me.

This weekend, I was supposed to go to the Caddy with my Homey, Ping, but he smucked his truck and now I'm going to be stuck in the Village. I might go to the Dirty Bar and hang with Crazy Mary and Jack Lord and Pistol. They're fun because Crazy Mary will start to talk in tongues after 10 glasses of red wine and Pistol will have to translate for me. Only Jackie and Chrystal really know what "Dap!" means. When Crazy Mary has 11 glasses of wine, she gets an apparently euphoiric type of vertigo. Then the leprechaun bouncer dude has to carry her home (as shown above). Often she leaves her purse behind a chair or on the roof of her car. I like to follow closely behind her so that I can pay my rent, subscribe to Ass Porn sites and buy Wildcats with the ducets found in her forgotten wallet.

If those guys are not chillin', Gunner will be out dancing with a group of chicks and he may let me hang with him. He's totally cutting the rug in the picture above. Those chicks look like they are good drinkers but not so much on the dancefloor. Why are there cans of Strongbow in all these pictures? It must be big with the kids in the Village. I tried it one time and didn't think much of it, but you know, to each their own.

Ok I gotta dash. JohnCat and Elwood and some shriners and I are going to shop for a new bike for Elwood and then they are going to put us through an honorary Masonic initiation Ceremony. Somebody said that we had to ride a goat naked across the masonic hall basement. What's so secret about that? We do it at our family reunion every July.