Resort Towns in Winter...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hello Singing Cats,
Look at Patches and Uncle Joe. They're sleeping because February is the most tedious month for Village People. All of the exotic tourists have returned to fabulous Ferndale, the beaches are as icy as a Sandbar Margarita (no salt) and there's nobody on the roads except Elwood and Reggie. Flea's even got his shirt done up. It's all too Don Henley's "Boys of Summer" to bear.
So what can one do to stave off those winter blues until the fun begins again on St. Patrick's Day? Well, February is an excellent time to cultivate a hobby. It was in February of '69 that I began collecting Lighthouses. Now I have over 20,000 different ones including a lighthouse Pez Dispenser, a crocheted lighthouse toilet paper cozy and a lighthouse cookie jar that sounds a foghorn whenever Gunner tries to steal one of my delicious Viva Puffs. If you're looking for something more active and social, I understand they are giving a baton toss workshop @ the dirty bar on Saturday Nights (1:00 am to last call, bring your own helmet and nutcup). When you get good at baton twirling they'll let you throw it in the air and drink a shot of SoCo while you wait for it to come back down. Then you catch it between your legs...fun! Some people get all wrapped up in DIY projects. In the 'hood everyone is pimpin' their golfcart ride. I understand that some dudes are putting mini generator powered fridges on the back of their carts and upholstering the seats with Burberry Nova Check, just like Snoop Dogg's Bentley. Finally, you could go to the lanes and practice for the Tri-Bay Bowl-off coming up March 4rth. If you spread your wings, the time will fly by until the green beer is flowing and Murray Snelgrove.....Andrew....Buffett....whatever.....is rocking the village with traditional Irish hits like, "I'm my Own Grandpa" and "Rich, Dumb, Young Nymphomaniac