Can You Spot the Fakes?

Hello Party People,

Ok, so when I need to get out of The Village, I usually take myself to the Cadillac Hotel in Blenheim. It's not a fancy hostelry, like Howard Johnson's or The Silver Motel. You can't get a room there with a plastic ice bucket, smutty movies or a floral bedspread. You can however, buy an El Camino & pharmaceuticals or enjoy live bands that play classics from Bob Seger, Journey and Foreigner. Every band that plays the "Caddy" is a Juke Box Hero to me.

Mostly, I like the Caddy because like "Cheers", it's packed full of colorful regulars. Of course, my mom, Diamond Lil is waaay the most notorious. That's because she can take Miracle Whip, smelt and frozen french fries and whip up a culinary extravaganza that would make even the Iron Chefs commit Hari Kari...and all for $2.70/plate. Also she'll kick your ass in 8-ball before you can say "Who wants another Lucky Lager?" If you go on a Friday night, most of the "regs" are looking for love. Casanovas to look out for include "BigEye/Little Eye", "Cowboy Indian", "Tiny Arms Dancer" "Rinky Dink" and "Princess". They play mind games and buy you shots of Peach Schnappes to get you on the dance floor. Then, they say they were drunk and pretend they don't remember you when you show up the next Friday. Because everybody who hangs in the Caddy is so "Fabulous", it's hard to get noticed. Sometimes the "love starved" go to extremes and flash a little boob and beaver. If you really want to get big upped, stand on a chair when you peel, or you're just one of the crowd.
So, as noted above, the Caddy is my serendipity from life in the Village. You can totally image then, how bananas it was when I was Caddy Mackin' on Friday night and half of Erieau and most of Rondeau stumbled thru the door. Dudes, even one of the village landlords was bustin' moves on the Drrty dancefloor. I was worried at first. Can simple brothers and sisters from a small village and a Provincial Park blend in with hipsters from Blenheim? It all worked out in the Draft, TopCats. Look at the pictures above. Can you tell who's a Caddy reg and who lives bayside? Me neither...... totally a seemless blend.