Erieau News: October 2006

The Persecution Presents....

Exhibit "A"!

Victory for the under-"dogs"....Holla!

If Richie rocked the comics.......

Exotic Squirrels in Erieau...Watch Yer Nuts!

Hello Squirrely Villagers,

Dudes, I found out recently that a relatively new Village Person did not know that squirrels are exotic fauna in our fair peninsula. It's true. Although Squirrels have always been in Rondeau and Shrewswbury, God Knows, they never hung here in the village because we have no nut trees out of which they might eek a meager livin'.

Uncle Krazy tells me that his good buddy Turner-Burner changed all that around. Not happy with run of the mill pets like Pugs or Kitties or Goats (holla @ yo Boy Patches), Burner thought he'd go all Paris Hilton with the pets and get him some squirrels. Most of the village squirrels were natives of Swilbillies or Windsorites ...coz you know squirrels gotta live where there are nuts! Anyway, Fidget did a little catch and release over the years and, long story short, that's why our fluffy firends meet us on our decks and at our birdfeeders eqach morning! I can't wait til Turner-Burner releases his monkeys and kinkajoos!

And in a continued effort to rock the municiple vote, let me ask you informed blog fans:
If you lived in Erieau and wanted to run for Council, why would you do it in a Chatham Ward? Would it be because you attempted to dump herbicides in the bay on the relative downlow and that ticked off the weedhuggers? Political commentators, give us a shout-out!

Phyllis Dillah's Baby Momma!

Hello Snowbunnies,

So Fleabee-geebie is mad @ me for accidently torching a Scarecrow when butting out a Peter Jackson. I'm not allowed in the Sandbar because I keep leaving the waitresses little kitties instead of tips, so where's a gangsta to find refreshment on Rondeau Bay? It's gotta be Dove's Bayside Bistro for sure. So feel the pain when saturday Night, this group of Erieaunians came into the joint. I overheard some Rondeaunians at the bar (the same ones who threw Patches in the bay dudes) comment on this Motley Crue:

"He looks like a dude that gets his rocks off drinking Red Bull Margarittas & watching the kind of Star Trek Episodes where T'Pau and Cpt.Kirk get their freak on w 7 randy, knee-high, space elves"

"She looks like she was waaay surprised to find a big black dildo on her seat in the Hot-Tub"
"She looks like she went AWOL from the Hipster army after taking the purple acid and scoring some bad knock-off handbags. Call Colonel Klink"
"He looks like the long lost heir to a "finger lickin' good" fortune!"

Rondeaunians...cruel but insiteful.

And now for a political message soon paid for by the concerned party:

Dudes, the "Erieau News" has wagged the dawg in this municipal election. I present our home-grown (organically of course) candidate Ken Bell for Councillor:

http://www.votekenbell.com/

Vidler for Mayor!

Hello Municiple Minnions,

Ok, so Y'all know I'm a cat of leisure and try my best not to get involved in anything that might even slightly be labelled "Civil Obedience". But as I drive back and forth from Timmy's each day with my special Double Double Remedy, I have to ask myself, why are there sooo many Chatham-Kent Mayoral campaign signs in the Village for a dude who hangs his chapeau in Wallaceburg? Damn, fools...that's our municiple North Pole. I rock it all Laissez-faire but I have to ask y'all, where is the local representation? Ken Bell made us proud in the '05 Provincial Race, but who got our back in the 'ol townhall?
With this in mind, I hereby encourage all y'all (look Mary I used it correctly) to support our own J-Vid in the upcoming mayoral race. It's all in the genes baby...he's tall like Abe Lincoln, strategic like Napoleon, drinks a beer like Sir John A., wears slippers like Hirohito, and comes from a local political dynasty like the Kennedy's. If that's not an unbeatable combination, I'll eat 7 raw smelts. So on election day, when you see the "other" option...write in J-Vid....coz when was the last time (in her 2 terms) you saw Diane drinking a coffee @ Cathy's or doin' a little line dance @ "the joint whos name we dare not speak"? ....And let the Chips fall where they may, yo!

Rock the Vote, kittens!