Flippy The Easter Crappy ...A New Village Icon.

Hello Hot Crossed Bun Lickers,

So I know I'm behind on my postings, but I've been hanging at the library with pseudo-Buddhist volunteer librarian dude, researching the Pagan origins of Christian holidays......no really. My pirated Starchoice got shut down (Patches chewed through the co-ax, man) so I thought I would rock my inner-Dan Brown and check into these things.

It turns out that Easter is named after the Pagan fertility goddess "Ostara" (sounds kinda like "Easter" dunnnit?). The Pagans, at the advent of Spring used to hide X-rated eggs throughout Pagan-ville because, you know, eggs are a sign of fertility and that's what spring's all about. Then they would drink a bunch of Mead or Strongbow or whatever Pagans drank and get their freak on while they searched for the archaic porn. Also, the symbol of Ostara is a rabbit...that's where the Easter bunny comes into the mix. That stuff's got absolutely nothing to do with the King James version of the holiday, dude.

So, if Christianity can tailor a Pagan holiday to market its cause to the masses, why can't the Erieau Fighterfighters and their booster club do the same darn thing? Forget the kiddie egg hunt on the boulevard. To be sympatico with our own history and traditions, I think we should have Flippy, the Easter Crappy hide Peter Jacksons and Budcans throughout the village. At Midnight on Good Friday, everyone in the Sandbar who has run out of darts and money could go out on a hunt, putting their booty into a decorated beercase instead of an Easter Basket......coz let's face it, children really shouldn't be involved in Pagan rituals anyway.