VOlunteer...it's good for your Soul/Sole!

Hello Minnow Gypsies,
Some weekends are undeniable! On Friday, I made $28.50 shovelling driveways which I in turn parlayed into 2 cases of Wildcat (Nevada ticket winnings) , 3 hefty roaches (Butch and Margaret are in town) and a half side of Beef (Blenheim Legion Holiday Meat Draw Bonanza.....Richie, Lindsay and Jean the Stealing Machine got the Jack...haha). On Friday night, Frenchie, Gunner and I shared some white rum with Bud Light, who's an old, old guy who calls all the ladies, "mum". This explains why the seal on his viagra bottle continues to remain tamper-free. On Saturday, Gunner went to a party at his American neighbour's (who is Bob Seger's cousin BTW) and got his mack on with one of the waitresses from the bar. He's playing the whole thing on the d/l. If you know which gal, give me the buzz to share with "enquiring minds".

Anyway, because this is the "season of giving" and being kind to your fellow man, I thought I should give some public recognition to Erieau's largest collective group of volunteers (now that they no longer pay for blood donation), the EFD. Our Fire department is better than any other fire department in Chatham-Kent because we also have an ice & water rescue unit. This means we get a pimped out fire-boat as well as the requisite firetrucks. The EFD doesn't have a dalmation, though. Sometimes Reggie, a dog the same age as Bud Light, will pee on the corner of the firehall, but that's not the really the same as having a mascot. Generally our firemen are very good about protecting lives and property. In slow months, they get bored and try to make work by lighting drunk people on fire with their cigarettes. The Fire Chief demonstrates in the photo above. I don't volunteer because firefighting involves long physically exhausting, emotionally draining work that is hard on your feet. The VillagePeople appreciate the sacrifices of our fearless volunteers. As you can see in the top photo, the Assistant Fire Chief is getting his sore tootsies tended to by the leprechaun Bar Bouncer. It's too Brokeback Mountain for words. The EFD is always doing nice things in the village like sending kids to college (my niece/sister is giving a perm @ Marvel as I type .....thanks boys), decorating Christmas Trees and lighting off fireworks, so they need donations. You could go to the Big Beefy BBQ in July (Hoodlums love it), get your car washed or buy a Rescue Ranger t-shirt butI think they should do a "fireman" calendar. ...coz firemen have big hoses and the ladies would snap them up like crazy. The moral of this post is drop these guys some coins because you never know when that meth-lab in your basement will flame up and you'll have to call them out.

So Dudes, I gotta dash. Monday is the day that Elwood and I make sure all the beer cans he collected are truly empty (mmm free beer), so no more cigarette butts in the bottoms alright?